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Christmas Eve Thoughts & a song.

Christmas time for most is a great time for people to get together and be with family and friends. For me, it has become a smaller and smaller event as the years go by. I suppose it’s a natural thing; people come and go out of your life either by choice or death. Sometimes I act like I hate Christmas and the whole idea of it. Then again ask three or four of your peers I am sure one of them the first thing that will come out of their mouth is…”Christmas means I’ll get presents!” And it makes me sad to think that holidays & birthdays etc have turned into this “What am I going to get?” kind of attitude. Whatever happened to just celebrating those special occasions with the people you care about and love?

This year on the eve of Christmas I sat in my house, just me and the sounds this house makes and I thought about things going on in my life. I talked to my mom earlier in the day and had a funny conversation with a girlfriend of mine. Other than that I have had a lot of time alone. Not that I wanted to be alone, because that is the furthest thing from the truth. I would love to sit there with my mom and have hot cocoa and laugh about funny old stories or get into it about her health and the new things she has to learn when going to the blind school. There are even some old friends I would like to see too, but they are either too far away or super busy with plans. It happens.

Even as I am typing this I start to think about my family that is gone. You know my dad Rickie loved Christmas. Even when he was bed ridden from his strokes his eyes would light up brighter than those Christmas lights he loved (the ones that bubbled). He loved watching my mom put on her Santa hat and decorate the house. He might’ve even liked the Christmas music (begrudgingly like me…shhh don’t tell anyone!) Mom would start singing away in her untrained off kilter voice and me and dad would just laugh at her and I would have to join in. Then there is Grandma Margo, man she would just get into the shopping for Christmas. She would buy anything and everything for anyone she cared about. If that woman cared about you, she would give till her heart bled and she didn’t give a rat’s ass if you gave her a present back! She just loved to see the happiness in people’s eyes. Seriously she was an angel! And Grandpa Vernon would get into it too with her at times when he was in the mood. I remember all of us getting together in the huge old Cadillac’s (Goldie & Silverbell as they were named by Vernon & Margo) and heading off towards Candy Cane Lane to look at all the houses with Christmas lights blazing away. The lights were always done artsy like I guess you could say.

As you might be able to tell I am getting rather emotional, but I feel it is a good thing to remember and pay honor to the past by telling stories of your family that are gone. It helps you to remember who you are, and where I got some of my qualities from. So tonight I am going to lay in bed and stare out the window and pretend that red blinking light going across the night sky is really Rudolph and not some plane….

I was listening to this song earlier tonight and that is why I decided to write this. It’s a lovely song with a great message. In the beginning he says…”This is a song about appreciating what you have.” I posted the lyrics along with it. This song is really touching and makes me so happy to still have those people in my life I call friends & family. Merry Christmas to you all….*hugs*

“New York Minute”

Harry got up
Dressed all in black
Went down to the station
And he never came back
They found his clothing
Scattered somewhere down the track
And he won’t be down on Wall Street
in the morning

He had a home
The love of a girl
But men get lost sometimes
As years unfurl
One day he crossed some line
And he was too much in this world
But I guess it doesn’t matter anymore

In a New York Minute
Everything can change
In a New York Minute
Things can get pretty strange
In a New York Minute
Everything can change
In a New York Minute

Lying here in the darkness
I hear the sirens wail
Somebody going to emergency
Somebody’s going to jail
If you find somebody to love in this world
You better hang on tooth and nail
The wolf is always at the door

In a New York Minute
Everything can change
In a New York Minute
Things can get a little strange
In a New York Minute
Everything can change
In a New York Minute

And in these days
When darkness falls early
And people rush home
To the ones they love
You better take a fool’s advice
And take care of your own
One day they’re here;
Next day they’re gone

I pulled my coat around my shoulders
And took a walk down through the park
The leaves were falling around me
The groaning city in the gathering dark
On some solitary rock
A desperate lover left his mark,
“Baby, I’ve changed. Please come back.”

What the head makes cloudy
The heart makes very clear
The days were so much brighter
In the time when she was here
But I know there’s somebody somewhere
Make these dark clouds disappear
Until that day, I have to believe
I believe, I believe

In a New York Minute
Everything can change
In a New York Minute
You can get out of the rain
In a New York Minute
Everything can change
In a New York Minute

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Thinking about Christmas.

I realize I am going to have a lot of time to sit and ponder life during this time of year. Everyone else goes off to see family. Luckily me and my mom are planning to get together, maybe I will end up cooking something really rad. Just waiting to hear back from them on when they will come down exactly…and then I get to plan on what to cook.

Other than that my Christmas is going to be very chill and laid back, I think I need that right now. A time to just sit back and think about everything that is going on in my life and come up with a solid plan on how to attack and solve the problems I have currently; from my career goals to my house and other things going on in my head. Why am I going to have all this time? My best friend and roomie is going to his mom’s for Christmas and I am going to have the house to myself for a couple of days. KEGER TIME! lol Just kidding. Sometimes it’s just good to have time to one self. Though I know I am going to miss having someone around the house to bug, it will be cool.

Now to try to get other people to come by so I can cook for them. It’s been my goal to try to get friends over and stuff, but it has yet to happen. With the holidays and regular busy schedules everyone seems to be having right now…I can’t get my homies to come by and be my food tasting guinea pigs. Hmmmm I wonder what they are really thinking? Anyway off I go to try and clean up the house a little more. WOOO Fun Monday.